What To Say

(Original Post here)

In honor of pride month, as well as a follow up to our previous post about what not to say that was written by Emily Earl Nelson, we wanted to publish another post about some of the things we should say to fellow members of the church who are also in the LGBTQ community.  

The original post was written by Emily Earl Nelson and Christina Dee was the one who told me about it.  Let's be kinder to our LGBTQ brothers and sisters and learn what to say.

  • How can I help ensure you and your child know you are loved?
  • Ask sincere questions in an effort to understand and then LISTEN to the answers and BELIEVE what they tell you.
  • Offer love and support.
  • Ask about the gay child, their relationship, or marriage or children like you would any straight person.
  • “I can’t possibly know what it is like to be in your shoes as the parents of a gay child in the LDS church, but I would really like to learn.” Asking how you can learn more about LGBTQ issues is so supportive!
  • “What would need to change to make your son feel welcome at church?”
  • “We NEED LGBTQ people at church as part of the body of Christ. They are important and valuable!”
  • “I never want to say the wrong thing or anything hurtful, so please tell me if I do.”
  • Your child is always welcome in our home.
  • We love and accept your child just as he is! He is still the same person to us!
  • Listen, listen, listen and offer empathy.
  • I won’t try to give you advice, but I’m always here if you need to talk.
  • No judgement from us!
  • We want your son to be healthy and happy and support him in whatever path he takes to achieve that.
  • Reach out to the child but also the parents. Give us hugs. Come by our house to visit. Drop off sugar! Lol.
  • Work to educate yourself by reading articles and listening to podcasts. Ask for recommendations. It is very exhausting for a parent to try to explain and teach everything to everyone.
  • Don’t be silent, don’t pull away, don’t ignore us.
  • BELIEVE us! And if you don’t, keep it to yourself and work on learning more until you can understand where we are coming from.
  • We love your son and we love your family and we still want to be friends with you!
  • We will walk with you on this journey!

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